Friday, March 31, 2006

The Devil's Den

As I glide through the darkened streets, it beckons to me. The warm glow of the lights tries to draw me in with an indescribable force, but I resist with all of my strength. A voice calls out…

“CVS! CVS! Mommy, I want to go to CVS and get a toy.”

Damn that place. I swear that Monkey Man absolutely thinks that the toy aisle in a CVS pharmacy is just one step below heaven. We can’t pass a CVS without him asking to go inside and then if we’re not stopping, the Spanish Inquisition begins. Why? Why? Why? Oh, the agony….

Poor Monkey Man has had a rough time with various colds and infections for his entire life. I guess CVS is like a second home to him, heaven knows we’ve spent enough time there waiting on the Drugs Du Jour. And I don’t know how he ever figured out that there was a toy aisle there, because it’s tucked away in a remote corner of the store that isn’t on the pathway to the pharmacy counter. I'm going to err on the side of blaming his father.

Or at least it wasn’t easy to find until we went in today. Apparently some rocket scientist decided to remodel the store and everything is all screwed up. Well, not screwed up, but damn if I could find anything I went in looking for while waiting for Drug Du Jour. Where the heck is the Benadryl and what happened to the toothpaste aisle? But somehow hernia belts and bedpans were easily accessible. Hmmm.

Monkey Man immediately located the new toy aisle which is conveniently only two aisles away from the pharmacy waiting area and highly visible from any angle in the store. This is a kid who can’t find his own shoes that are right in front of him that’s he’s just tripped over, but damn if he can’t find the CVS toy aisle.

Sigh. We ended up getting a $4 toy after he spent 20 minutes pulling every toy off of the shelves and putting it carefully back. It was excruciating. And normally we can make it out of there without buying a toy, but I was so whipped after navigating our way through the new doctor's office that if he’d asked me to rob a bank I probably wouldn’t have thought twice….hey, just as long as we can get home by 6 PM and I still have time to order some pizza I'm up for anything.

So he’s on the couch now, playing with his new $4 Transformer (which by the way was the least cheesy thing they had for under $5 and it’s still mega-cheesy) and having a great time. He’s thanked me at least five times for his “surprise” (ha!). And he’ll be happy, at least until the next time he sees the CVS logo on something and then the Spanish Inquisition will begin anew. Why? Why? Why?

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